Mother's Day....blah

The last couple days have been so weird for me. I have been kinda down, and a little short and cranky. I also have been eating everything in site and I seriously can't control it. Now I know Mother's Day is Sunday, and I hate Mother's Day since I lost my mom in 1998. That could be some of it. My kids all live far from me, and I haven't seen them in a while due to my health and then becoming unemployed before breast cancer treatment. My youngest son I saw this year because he came to me. It just sucks and I'm not looking forward to it. Gary's mom is very good to me and like a mom to me and I love her for that, but no one can replace my mom and I would do anything to have her back. Sometimes I worry if I should be over this feeling since it's been 11 years on the 17th of this month that she passed as we sat at her bedside. Not to mention I lost my dad 6 years after. I think about them everyday and wish things were the way they used to be. I would have loved Gary to meet them, they would have liked him. He gets along with everyone and he's a good man, and they would have been proud of me for finding him. I really struggle with guilt now that when my mom was a live there were times she annoyed me so much I didn't want to be around her. Well now I'm not around her and WANT to be. When they used to hug me, I just really miss that. Sometimes I sit around and I can picture in my mind our whole living room set up at my parents house and all of us sitting around watching some variety show (they were big back then). Back then as my youngest sons says "When the dinosaurs roamed the earth" the little shit. So how do you move on? How do you make those days (Mother's and Father's Day) enjoyable again? Does it ever happen? Am I holding onto this too much? Should I be getting over it? Because I can't, I miss them, I miss them terribly. I even downloaded a Men at Work song to my iPod because it was my dad's favorite song. I downloaded Bobby Vinton, Englebert Humperdink and Ray Charles because those were my mom's favorite. Is this normal behavior? I don't know. All I know is I miss them. So now you know why I hate Mother's Day. Blah